Miserable America Kevin Abstract Download 'Miserable America' on iTunes
20 July 2016, 16:27
Mickey just got a few new friends ready to join the Magic Kingdom.
How do you make the happiest place on earth even happier? Add Pokémon. Obviously.
I don't need to explain what Pokémon Go is to you guys - I'm sure you are ALL over it. But the craze really took off while I was on summer vacation with the fam in sunny, stormy, scarily crowded Orlando, riding coasters, lounging by the pool and tweeting out pics of my other half posing with Dug from Up.
But then once I finally hit download on the app store (after some hacking - these were the dark pre-UK release days people) everything changed and my holiday now became a mission. A mission to catch 'em all!
There were certainly enough people with the same idea - every three steps you'd see another group of kids with their heads buried in their phones, looking up for only a few seconds if they spotted a passing Elsa or smelt a ridiculously oversized Turkey leg roasting on the wind, before returning to the safety and comfort of the virtual world.
But would it be possible for a rookie trainer to make it in the House of Mouse? Here's how it went down.
Will probably get trampled by families with pushchairs in the very near future.
It is a fun ride to be fair. Better than the movies really. Especially the second one - what a load of dogsh*t that was. No matter what happens with his current legal troubles, Depp should have been jailed years ago for that crime against cinema surely?
Just jamming in New Fantasyland next to the carousel.
He doesn't appear particularly concerned.
That's the "tree of life" in the background by the way. Much like these creatures, it is also fake but looks and feels so real.
Tracked down in the fake Mexico bit. In fact all the pretend countries seem to be riddled with monsters.
Well, they did invent it.
Unless they are buried at the bottom of the pile or something. You never know...
Anyway after that everyone I was with got annoyed at my constant staring at my phone screen and I was promptly banned from the game on the threat of death (or at least no Mickey ice cream bars which is basically the same thing).
So, in summary, if you are gonna play Pokémon Go in Disney World, make sure you have a decent data roaming rate, have a park map on hand to help guide you around and, most importantly, make sure you stop off at the single greatest Poké-stop in the world. Or at least that's what the guy who runs the place said it was.
Quite arrogant actually.