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18 April 2016, 11:47
Psst...consent is actually pretty important. Pass it on.
You may know west coast duo, Best Coast, for their killer tunes and three amazing albums. You might not, however, realize that Bethany Cosentino is whip smart, an outspoken liberal, and a fierce feminist.
She's is not afraid to speak her mind and, this time, she's taken aim against the scary endorsement of non-consensual sex that is Chris Brown's "Fuck You Back To Sleep".
Going on a rant...get ready...— Best Coast (@BestCoast) April 17, 2016
"just let me rock, fuck you back to sleep girl, don't say a word no, girl don't you talk" are lyrics to the chorus of a VERY popular song— Best Coast (@BestCoast) April 17, 2016
You already know how I feel about Chris Brown - but WHY/HOW are those lyrics ok? Cool, a song that perpetuates rape culture being a hit.— Best Coast (@BestCoast) April 17, 2016
x infinity at that trash/anyone who thinks its OK to sing about fucking a girl back to sleep + telling her to not say a word— Best Coast (@BestCoast) April 17, 2016
This isn't just about that idiot tho- the fact that's a song in popular culture that some A&R person was like "this is great" saddens me— Best Coast (@BestCoast) April 17, 2016
You shouldn't be having sex with anybody without consent. Consent isn't optional. For safe, good sex, all parties need to be 100% aware that sex is happening to them. Funny that.
You can't consent to sex if you're extremely intoxicated; you can't can't consent to sex if you're unconscious; and you can't consent to sex if you're literally asleep and someone is telling you "not to say a word".
@BestCoast are people not realizing you cannot consent to sex if you're >ASLEEP<!?!! theres no justifiable explanation for this dude anymore— missy (@spookyspells) April 17, 2016
"Fuck You Back To Sleep" is one of the more popular songs from Chris Brown's Royalty album but its popularity presents an interesting conundrum. How can any society which proclaims to be roundly against forcing sex upon people who haven't expressly permitted it, celebrate a song that blurs these crucial lines of consent?
This isn't the first example of a non-consensual sex tfhemed song dominating radio play. Robin Thicke and Pharell's "Blurred Lines" was a break away hit in 2014 but faced its own round of lyrical scrutiny when it was decided, "I know you want it" was not advocating for healthy consensual intercourse. Even the song's title, "Blurred Lines", called into question whether the song was about blurred lines of consent and how to get around them.
Ok I'm for real done with Twitter for today- but this is the last I'll say on the subject. pic.twitter.com/Y8oiINVykR— Best Coast (@BestCoast) April 17, 2016
The bottom line is that Bethany was totally right to call out these lyrics. Not only are they trash, but they're poison as well. The more we normalize this kind of behaviour, the more warped our social discourse on consent and healthy sex become.
If you want to do sex with a person, make sure they actually know you're doing sex to them. Below is an example of how to successfully propose sex to a person.
Person A: Do you want to do sex?
Person B: Yes, I'd love to. Thanks so much for seeking my permission.
Person A: No problem. I'm a huge fan of consent.
[camera pans to a poster on the wall that says 'I love consent']
Person B: Same.