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29 January 2015, 10:57
Don't cross her.
We've long been aware that this is Taylor Swift's world and we're all just living in it. Taylor Swift has taken that knowledge to a whole new level by trademarking famous lyrics from her 1989 album.
The singer is believed to have proceeded with a trademark filing which would put the kibosh on unauthorised usage of lyrics including: "This Sick Beat", "Nice to Meet You. Where You Been?" and "Could Show You Incredible Things."
If you need to tell a friend that a beat is sick, do not put it on a tshirt or novelty mug. Simply write it in white ink on parchment paper. Drive to a post office on the outskirts of town. Look for a man with dark hair and a nametag that reads ‘Ernest.’ He will lead you to a lock up beneath the building where you can deposit the letter for safe keeping. Buy his silence. In 15 years tell your friend to go to the lock up where the letter has laid in wait. The combination to the locker is 19-8-9. They open the envelope and carefully illuminate the letter with a lighter.
"This beat is sick".