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14 January 2016, 12:53
When did all the ghosts get social media?! *INCLUDES SPOILERS*
That's it! It's over! Season 5 of American Horror Story is checking out. This is every single thought we ALL had during the finale of American Horror Story: Hotel... Every. single. one. LET'S DO IT!
1) Alright, Hotel Cortez, I'm ready to check in for the last time.
2) And no, don’t try and give me the key to Room 64, Iris... I’m wise to your tricks now.
3) FINALE WISHLIST: I WANT BLOOD AND I WANT MURDER. LET'S DO THIS, RYAN!
4) I’m really gonna miss Li-
5) OMG NOOOOO LIZ!
6) WHAT THE HE- OK, that's fine. They're both in charge. Slé.
9) I’ll show you to your room. Mmmmmm. I wonder what room THAT is.
10) Wait, did Hotel Cortez go all 'New Year, New Me' on us all? #FreshSheets
11) Sally is reaaaally not digging the refurb, is she?
12) OMG WILL DRAKE. YOU DEVIL!
13) "If the ghosts keep killing the guests, we’re gonna have zero stars..." NO SH*T, IRIS!
14) OFF TOPIC: Did we ever find out who the waxy creature was that killed Schmidt from New Girl?
15) At this point I’m literally just looking for clues for Season 6.
16) Oh look, a ghost meeting!
16) If suddenly shipping Sally and Will Drake is wrong, I don't wanna be right.
17) James Patrick March has been Evan Peter's BEST character. Don't @ me. You know I'm right.
18) Wow. Yes. Ok. Evan Peters really has an affinity for those rubber suits, doesn't he?
19) NEWSFLASH: Hotel Cortez is now serving free Wifi! Such progression from episode 1.
20) Wait… why are all the ghosts now rolling on social media?
21) @SallyThatGurl FOLLOW ME MOM
22) Wait... Sally has more likes than me on Instagram AND SHE'S DEAD.
24) OMG WHAT IF SEASON 6 IS AMERICAN HORROR STORY: ONLINE.
25) Honestly, Liz Taylor could punch me in the face and I would say 'Thank you so much'.
26) YOOOO!!!!!! BILLIE DEAN HOWARD!!!! SLAY MEEE!!!!
27) BURNING QUESTION: Where is everyone getting their manicures in LA?
28) I mean, manicures have been so on point this season.
29) Ok no… this is getting too real.
30) What is this salty liquid substance running down my cheek?
31) If Denis O'Hare doesn't win the Emmy for Best Actor ~AND~ Best Actress... I'll scream.
32) WHAT IS HAPPENING?
33) Plz don’t kill Liz!
34) IT’S GAGA, BITCH. *'Gimme More' plays in the distance*
35) FUN FACT: Once you win a Golden Globe, you unlock the special 'Single Tear' superpower.
36) Told you about those manicures.
37) Liz. Literally slayed by Gaga. She's in a better place now.
38) WHOA! FLASHFORWARD! WELCOME TO 2022!
39) Hotel Cortez’s hottest room is now Room 44.
40) Too many guests y’all - too off brand for Kathy Bates.
41) What if the next season of American Horror Story was just a chat show with Kathy Bates and Angela Bassett?
42) Oh there you are John, you little snake.
43) OMG HOW DID JOHN DIE?
44) BILLIE! DO NOT GO INTO ROOM 64!
45) Ok... ok... they’ve named dropped this boarding school twice now. #Season6
46) If Billie dies in the Hotel, I’ll throw my laptop out a window.
47) You already took Queenie from me… DON’T take the life of a Season 1 legend.
48) Oh no, they’re gonna kill her.
49) RUN BILLIE! RUNNNN INTO SEASON 6 AND NEVER LOOK BACK!
50) WAIT WHAT? HE ONLY SHOWS UP ONCE A YEAR.
51) Ugh, I never thought I’d sympathise with John the murderer.
52) He was so cloooooooose to eternal Hotel glory. *cries single tear*
53) 2:25 AM. OH NO. NOT AGAIN. PLZ DON'T SAY THE CREEPY KIDS ARE ON THE WAY.
54) Golden Globe Award Winning Lady Gaga is. on. the. prowl.
55) "ANY LAST WORDS?" "JAWLINE FOR DAYYSSSSS!!!!!"
56) OK, we've nailed it... Season 6 of American Horror Story: No Chiselled Jawlines.