I Want You Back Haim
29 February 2016, 16:28
Viewer beware, you're in for a scare.
Remember Goosebumps? Of course you do.
Do you mean vampires really exist? Who else is one? Was your BFF a vampire??? Your dog??? YOUR MUM??? Too much for little 10-year-old you to handle.
This sociopathic ventriloquist doll was so creeptastic, the show brought it back for a second and third round. Hats off to R.L. Stine for inspiring years of therapy.
What's so scary about a lawn gnome, you ask? I DON'T KNOW AND I DEFINITELY DIDN'T CRY WHEN MY PARENTS BROUGHT OUT THE CHRISTMAS DECORATIONS THAT YEAR.
How was this legal to show to children? @goosebumps: you'll be receiving my medication bills.
Don't even act like this didn't haunt your twisted side-dish related dreams for months to come. I bet you skipped the mashed potatoes, didn't you? WHY, R. L. STINE? WHY??? I blame Goosebumps for my potassium deficiency.
This didn't necessarily scare you out of your tiny mind, but I'm adding it in for "sexual awakening" purposes. Welcome to puberty, y'all! This was when it all went downhill.
I blame this episode for my lifelong aversion to noodle-shaped foods.
So you've found out your librarian is secretly a monster? It's totally alright, cos your parents are also monsters and totally willing to save you by eating her.
Psych, it's totally not alright. Here, have years of nightmares, in which everyone you know grows scales and razor-sharp teeth.
*locks self in room**hides under bed forever*